so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Randomize
