My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
