somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
