Is it normal to miss your booty call?
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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