worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
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