I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
The adults are the big ones right?
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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