is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
