How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
