2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
