i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
