Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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