Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
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