I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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