Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
You brought string cheese to the strip club
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Randomize
