think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
