It's like God shit irony all over that family
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Randomize
