Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
cat food counts as protein by the way
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
