so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Randomize
