its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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