Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize
