What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Randomize
