You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
