Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Randomize
