i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
