Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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