I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
