I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Randomize
