He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Randomize
