it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Randomize
