you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
and you fell through a lawn chair
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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