god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
