I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
