I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
