Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Randomize
