How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
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