and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Randomize
