im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize
