Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
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