you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
