tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
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