i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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