I can text with my tongue
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
