She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
