we have officially lost it.
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
