it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
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