Non-Jews are for practice
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
