She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
