Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Randomize
