accomplished twins. life is a go
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
