I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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