I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
