He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
