But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
