I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
