im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
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