I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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