I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
