Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize
