every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
